Uncovering Your Reality

Regular blog on the concepts of focus and self mastery, published every Tuesday.
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I couldn’t allow myself to put time into understanding how to write until I freed myself from the notion that I needed to write (quickly) if I wanted to eat every day.

Insecurity had won. Pain had won. My craft didn’t come first – survival did. It makes sense though, doesn’t it? Consider Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Basic survival needs have to be met before a child can learn effectively. The same is true for any adult that has the job of fulfilling their own basic needs.

We take jobs because we need them to survive, liking the job or being good at it become secondary. I put off understanding how to write until I knew my basic needs were met. It seems, without trying, that I proved Maslow’s hierarchy to be true, not that my validation was needed or even asked for!


Maybe healing is just shedding the old identification with the pain to find a truer version of yourself. Maybe we put a little too much focus on healing pain and not enough focus on figuring out who we are without it.


We do this with our life experience all the time. How? By the story we tell about what’s happening.

You can fall off your bike as a 5 year-old child, scrape your knee, and make that into a life-altering experience that means you’ll never ride a bike again.

You can take that same fall off your bike at 5 years old, make it not a big deal, dust yourself off, and get right back on your bike.

What was the problem? The fall? Or my thinking about the fall and potentially how my caregivers reacted to my fall?


Yes, I’m putting my update blog in Uncovering Your Reality. Why? Because I’m uncovering my own reality via an update blog! Do you think it’s a stretch? ;)

Anyway, I wanted to share some little things that I’m moving around to hopefully make things make more sense. The goal is to make it easier for people to hear about the things they want to hear about from me. I have a tendency to put out a crap ton of content and that’s why I’m doing this!


A New Year’s resolution is based on what you know you need to do. What it’s not based on is what you actually want to do and therein lies the problem.

It’s really hard to make yourself do things you don’t want to do. Some of you fight this battle every day as you get up and go to work. You really don’t want to go and making yourself do that everyday is really hard – but you manage to do it.


Writing a book every year is how I break cycles. They define the end of a cycle for me. Every time I’ve published a new book, it’s started me on a different path immediately after. They delineate a distinct shift in my life. My new book on powerlessness coming in 2024 will be no different.


Powerlessness has been a cycle that I’ve held onto most of my life. It’s an untrue perception of reality that caused me to sabotage myself a whole bunch. Powerlessness is simply a feeling of being out of control in your own life. One of the things that has been coming up for me and that I’ve been talking about a bunch, is this idea of finding your point of control in a given experience.


I used to repress my feelings. I avoided my feelings like the plague. I hated them because they felt really overwhelming and hard to manage. I’ve stopped doing that.


Not by making myself sit in a bunch of overwhelming feelings. Nope. I did it by getting my mind under control. I allowed myself to feel the feelings without the story of the mind.


You may have heard that I’m starting up a new subscription program called Mastering the Illusion. Moving forward I’ll be centering all of my other work around that program, including this entire blog, Uncovering Your Reality. I wanted to start doing that this week with this blog post.

The first PDF download in Mastering the Illusion is a bit about perception, a bit about pain, and a bit about control. It’s almost like an introduction to Mastering the Illusion. If I were going to describe what Mastering the Illusion is or what I mean when I say Mastering the Illusion, this is what it would look like.

Our perception is screwy. It’s based on a combination of old pain, previous experience, and our beliefs or ideas about how the world works or should work. What that creates is a perfect storm of chaos in your perception.

We all know that screwy perception makes us make crazy choices. I’ve made a million of them. Believe me, if I could go back to my younger self and be like, “What the heck?”, I would!


Often your thoughts are the biggest challenge you have going for you. Life is showing you obstacles and roadblocks all over the place. Your interpretation of those obstacles and how you handle them is what keeps you from getting around them.

I’ve had my share of obstacles and roadblocks. In the last week alone I’ve gone from giving up to trying again multiple times. I’ve been super frustrated and super triggered by the messages from my tarot cards. It’s been a very challenging few days.

But then I caught onto (I think) what they were trying to get me to understand – your work doesn’t have to fit in the box. You’d think I knew that already. My work doesn’t fit in most boxes, but I still try to make the stuff I create fit in the existing boxes. I write books, short reads, offer private coaching and so on. All of those things I put into the standard boxes they fit into. But what if I shift it a bit and shift my writing a bit? What if I don’t need to fit in the box and it’ll make more sense.


One of the things I’m able to see in the people around me, is the cycles they are stuck in. In order for me to see those cycles, I have to be aware of their day-to-day experience to some degree. I have to know at least some of the goings-on. When I do, I quickly spot cycles in their behavior.

Can I just say it’s both a blessing and a bit of a curse?

Being able to see cycles so clearly and combining that with my understanding of self-mastery, gives me the tools to break those cycles very quickly. That’s a blessing.

I can’t live other people’s lives for them. I can’t make people do things. So the curse is the heart-wrenching part where I just get to watch people go around in circles not realizing what they are doing to themselves. The more painful those cycles are, the harder they are to watch play out continuously.


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