Have you ever worked a full-time job? Maybe you’re working in one now. You commit your energy to a relationship with a given employer, trusting that employer to pay you an agreed upon wage for your time and effort. The foundation of working for other people is that if we commit time and effort to somebody else’s cause, they will pay us for that effort and time.

What happens when you start working for yourself? Potentially you put a lot of time and effort into it and make very little or no money for that time and effort. What you put into it, especially at first, doesn’t always balance with what you get of it. The foundation of a job is to be paid for our time. When we work for ourselves we have to accept the risk that it may not work out that way.

I have two very big cycles in my life that I’ve had to work on breaking. One is insecurity or lack of self-confidence. The other is money or cycles of lack. By attempting to work for myself I trigger both constantly. It’s both painful and rewarding at the same time.

To say I’ve come a long way since I started this journey is an understatement, but that doesn’t mean those cycles aren’t still back there. It doesn’t mean that those cycles don’t show up anymore. I just found them both glaring at me from a dark corner of the room I’m currently in.

I’ll be honest. I’m over it. I’ve had enough of trying to be seen on social media. I’ve had enough of making content nobody sees. I’ve had enough of “working for free”. I am tired, very tired. I am tired of being stuck in a life I don’t want. I have officially made myself miserable.

So I stopped. I stopped writing. I stopped posting, with the very rare exception. I just walked away. I went off and I played stay-at-home mom for a little bit. About 30 minutes ago, I even reached back out to my old employer seeing if they needed some help. That’s how exhausted I am. I’m tired of being tired.

But then I realized something. I was willing to work 8 hours a day for somebody else but I’m not willing to commit to my own causes for 8 hours a day. What’s that about? That doesn’t even make sense.

Insecurity and lack. My old friends, of course.

To answer your questions, yes I’m still human. Yes, those cycles are still back there. Yes, I’m still prone to them sometimes. No, I don’t catch onto everything immediately. It can still take me a hot minute to clue in. No, self-mastery is not a miracle worker. It offers me the opportunity to find things and resolve them. It doesn’t guarantee that I’ll actually be successful at it or do any of it. It just gives me the ability to do it when I’m good and ready – whenever that is.

It does give me one very powerful gift though – the ability to not beat myself up when I find this stuff hiding back there. I love the Mario Brothers video game, but I don’t need to pretend to be Mario, so I’ll reserve hammering on myself for another day.

Life just is. The cycles just are. They aren’t good. They aren’t bad. They aren’t right. They aren’t wrong. They are just there and when I catch them in the act, I catch them in the act. When I don’t catch them, I don’t catch them. It matters not how quickly or slowly I get there. In reality, it doesn’t even matter if I get there at all. It only matters that I’m trying, even when I’m tired, even when I don’t feel like it, even when I give up for a while, I’m still trying.

As the saying goes, it’s okay to not be okay.

What does all this mean?

Once I acknowledge the cycle and the pain, I have all the tools I need to fix it. I’m going to attempt to commit to my own causes for those same 8 hours a day I was just willing to give somebody else.

Am I going to be perfect at this? Not likely.

Will the cycle show up again? Yeah, probably.

Can I figure it out? Absolutely.

The ability to not beat myself up allows me to try again. I just shake my head, question why that took so long, and then move on with it.

Here’s the truth – the thing that causes you the most pain is not the cycle. It’s not the burn out. It’s not the giving up. It’s not the part where you catch yourself doing dumb sh!t. It’s the part where you beat yourself up.

Once you recognize the cycle, it’s already broken before you do anything else. The recognition of it breaks it. Now your job is to work on keeping it broken. How do you do that? By dealing with what comes up as you begin to do the things that will trigger those cycles again.

If you stop and beat yourself up for a month first, the cycle has the opportunity to put itself back in place. You get distracted so that instead of working on healing the cycle (which is the goal by the way), you instead spend your time being mad at the cycle existing at all. That keeps you stuck in the cycle. It’s a loop within a loop. You don’t fix what needs to be fixed because you’re too busy being mad at yourself for not fixing it.

If we stay out of that loop we can just move right on along. We don’t have to get stuck, at least not there. That’s one less thing to deal with.

Is it possible I’ll give up again in a week? Yep.

Is that okay? Yep.

Now that I see it, I can change it. Because I don’t beat myself up, I can keep working at it until I get it without distracting myself with what I should or not have known or done. Those things don’t matter.

Do the best you can from where you are, regardless of whether you think the best you can do sucks or not.

That’s acceptance of what is.

I’ve been beating on this horse for so long that most normal, sane people would have given up a long time ago. But, since I’m not normal or sane, I’m still here and I’m going to give this horse one more whack.

I’m going to re-group, practice a bit of self-care over the weekend, and re-focus myself on my own goals on Monday, while hopefully evicting the fear and insecurity that have been staring me down from the corner for a very long time.

Love to all.

Della

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I found another old wound today. What else is new right?

I generally share these with you in case they help somebody else who may have the same wound. So, let’s get into it.

The wound is simply that everything I do in life has to have some sort of practical purpose. I enjoy crochet for example, but I’ll only do it when I’m making something necessary. I won’t crochet a blanket just because I enjoy crochet. I will crochet a blanket if somebody needs one though. My interest in computers served a purpose as well. Yes, I love computers, but I use those skills to help myself and those around me. There is a practical application there. I don’t read romance novels because they serve no purpose, but I will read a self-help book or some kind of non-fiction book that teaches something or offers a skill. I don’t even make the bed because it serves no practical purpose. The only time the bed gets made by me is when I wash the sheets. Making the bed has no sanitary practical application. #sorrynotsorry

I can see this wound in the people around me too. My mother would never procrastinate on the cleaning by reading a book. She loves reading, but it was always relegated to the end of the day when everything else was done. If there was something practical to do, it was done first. The practical things always took priority. Reading was just an extra to do after everything else. She’s 83 now and reads all the time, but she’s retired and has nothing better to do. So now it has become a full time job. hahaha

When I was in high school I realized I loved to write. My writing at the time was all fiction. It was poems and short stories mostly. I wanted to figure out a way to write full-time instead of being a teacher. Why didn’t I? Because I couldn’t be a government, union worker who had full benefits as a fiction writer. My dream of being a writer didn’t match the expectation of what my career should look like, so I gave up being a writer entirely. Pretty much every choice I made came from a sense of powerlessness and lack of control over my own life and this was no exception.

Here we are 30-years later. The world of the internet has made it possible for pretty much anybody to be a full-time writer if they want to be. If you can find an audience for what you’re writing, you can make money online as a writer. That wasn’t true 30 years ago when I wanted to be a writer because the internet wasn’t really a thing yet, but it very much is true now.

My argument with my work lately has been that it isn’t practical because I don’t have a massive audience for my work. I felt as though I needed to make a choice to relegate this to a hobby so that I could find a job that was more practical. Every time I’ve tried to convince myself of that idea, I’ve heard my intuition telling me not to. I’ve essentially been having an internal battle with my intuition over the practicality of what I’ve been doing. There’s that wound again. Everything I do has to be practical and logical. I can’t have a full-time hobby. It makes no sense. I’m not allowed to do it this way. There is something wrong with it. People won’t like it. The story is thick, very, very thick.

Am I privileged to even be able to consider a full-time hobby? Yes. I recognize that not everybody has that luxury. For a long time, I didn’t think I had that luxury either. I’ve fought with the money stuff for years. The majority of it has now been resolved thanks to my old teacher retirement fund that I was able to access and use to pay off debt. My excuse has been that I need to be home with my teenage son. That is true. I do still need to be home with him and that is what is offering me the luxury of creating a full-time hobby for myself.

You can see what I did there. I made it practical because I won’t let myself do it otherwise. If he was my daughter’s age I’d have a really hard time convincing myself to be okay with a full-time hobby. I would probably shut down my intuition if that were the case.

You see my life was never about me. It was me making everybody around me comfortable all the time. Every choice I made had to make other people happy and if it didn’t, then I would change my choice. That’s why I stayed the course on becoming a teacher because becoming a writer made my parents uncomfortable. I do very little for myself, even to this day, because inevitably somebody will say I shouldn’t. The way I deal with that is by making everything I do practical or logical. If I do that people complain less, which means I get more freedom to do what I want. The people-pleaser in me is telling a good story, as you can see.

When I first started writing, I used it to heal myself. It had a practical application, even if it wasn’t making any money. I could justify that. It buried this old idea I had because I wasn’t ready to deal with it yet. But now it needs confronting. The goal has always been to free myself. This is one of the places I need to do that.

I have a bit of a passion project in the background. It’s going to take me a long time to complete, probably the remainder of this year and into next year. My argument with things needing to be practical and logical was going to stop me if I didn’t deal with it.

I dealt with the argument about things taking too long a while ago. That was tied to the money fears I held onto. I let that go. Over time, I’ve completely walked away from the idea of trying to make money doing this. But that offered me a different argument because then if I wasn’t using it to heal anymore, it no longer had a practical application. That was going to be a problem that I would have to deal with, and here we are.

I can’t have a passion project because that’s a hobby and it’s not practical. I’m not allowed to do that. Or at least that’s the story I tell myself.

I often look at musicians who play music all the time and post their music on social media hoping to breakthrough and get noticed. Every single one of them isn’t doing anything practical or logical. They are following their hearts hoping to make something out of it someday. Weirdly, I feel like that’s me too. But the difference between me and them is that I’m still arguing with that idea a few days away from turning 49. I’m not 20 anymore like most of them are. I’m supposed to have it figured out by now, or so society says.

The truth is, while I found my passion for writing as a teenager, finding a topic I was passionate about took me 30 years. Life offered me a subject to talk about. Now I’m getting the opportunity to fight with the idea that it’s okay to take on a passion project at my age, to the exclusion of all the practical things I’m supposed to be doing instead.

Is it practical to make yourself happy? Is it practical to try to create a life you actually enjoy? is there still room in the world for hobbies, interests, and passion projects that aren’t necessarily practical?

Some people would say that internal well-being and happiness is very practical. Others, like my mother, would say that internal well-being comes second to external or financial well-being. She believes in the idea of sacrificing oneself to earn a living until retirement. She put my happiness second behind finding a government, union job with benefits and I didn’t override her back then. Her priority was clear. Where do you fall on that spectrum?

When asked I believe fully in making the self happy first and foremost. That’s what I offer. That’s what I give to others. It’s not what I do for myself because of the old wound that says I’m not allowed. The only thing I need to do is give myself permission to be happy on my own terms. These are some of the last pieces of the people-pleasing habit I had. They seem to want to hang on for whatever reason.

So, I’m going to go nuke these ideas because they clearly don’t serve. They are stopping me from doing what I want to do. As I often say, it’s not about whether I’ll do it or not, it’s only a question of how long it takes me to get there!

Love to all.

Della

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Have you ever gone in one direction and realized somewhere along the way you should have gone a completely different route?

That’s how life works sometimes. It’s not a bad thing because it means you’re learning, you’re growing, you’re changing, and you’re understanding what you need in order to be happy and balanced in your life. These kinds of changes are really good, but not always the easiest to do.

I just made one such change when I turned my personal profile back into a personal profile and blew the dust off my page to start using it instead. I went from 1300 followers to 150 in a matter of a minute. Ouch.

You may remember in the past, if you’ve been following me for a while, that I’ve tried this before and it didn’t stick. It didn’t work because there was a problem – I continued to hold onto the side of the pool. I held myself back by continuing to share and offer the content on my personal profile.

There’s a weird dynamic that happens on Facebook. If you create a popular page and then you shift to start adding some public content on your personal profile, people will follow you. But, if you create a popular personal profile and then to try to move to a page, nobody follows unless you go cold turkey. It’s a very odd dynamic that I’ve seen playout often for many creators.

The key to getting out of this dynamic is the willingness to go cold turkey. One of the main problems with using my personal profile was that I had 800 followers (plus my 500 friends equals 1300 followers), but 750 of them were guys trying to hit on me. So because the majority of the followers were spam, the actual number of people that genuinely wanted to see my content was pretty low. Frankly, not even all of my friends wanted the content I was sharing. They just put up with me because we were friends. That lowers my numbers even further.

Using the page, I’m able to remove all the personal details and it limits the number of guys trying to get my attention. It also means my friends can decide for themselves if they want the content or not. On the plus side, I have far more control over who comments and who doesn’t. There is more functionality in a page than there is on a personal profile. That’s my way of simply hoping that I get more genuine followers and fewer guys looking to get some, while at the same time not spamming my friends with stuff they don’t want to see. We’ll see what happens!

It’s pretty obvious where the challenge in this – you have to be willing to trust yourself to start again. You have to leave behind those followers on your personal profile, while hoping they follow you to your page. You have to be willing to go in the direction you want. You have to be willing to let people make a new choice for themselves.

1300 people on Facebook is nothing. In that there were probably 100 people that actually wanted my content. Those 100 people followed me. So did I get everybody out? More than likely I got most of them. So am I worried? No, because I don’t think I lost much except a bit of a higher number that gives the appearance of having more attention than I do.

Now, if you have a lot more people, that leap might be a lot harder, but the reality is the same. If you try to play it safe, your page is going to struggle. If you suck it up and start again, you’ll get farther faster. If you don’t trust that process though, you’ll give up on the page because people won’t follow you as long as your personal profile is active. That was my reality and I’ve seen it play out that way for many others as well. That seems to be the way Facebook rolls.

I’m weirdly okay with the fresh start. I like the idea of starting again to build what I actually want. I like the idea of no longer spamming my friends. I like the freedom that comes from having a page where my only followers are the people that want to see the content.

Am I going to have to be patient? Yes. But since I’ll be working on a big project directly related to the page for probably the rest of 2024, I have time. Is that enough time? Maybe. Does it matter? Not really. Better to do it a bit late than not at all.

I have very defined content now. I have a way of sharing that content that works. I have a vision for where it’s going. Now I have the ability to create an audience that wants what I’m doing, that wants the result of the evolution that my content has been through. That’s not to say that I’m at a final resting place, I’m just a heck of a lot closer to the goal than I was when I started a few years ago. Shifts will be far more minor now.

This isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s just possible. When you’re starting out, I get that you want to look for and use the thing that gives you the most visibility the quickest. I’m the first to admit that groups and personal profiles are the easiest way to get attention on Facebook without paying for that attention. The reward for being more patient with a page is that you have a page dedicated to your work that is separate from your personal profile.

Could I have created a secondary personal profile and gone that way? At that point I would have had the choice to move my friends or move my followers. Could that work? Sure. For me, the page is better suited to my long term vision, which is why I chose to go in that direction instead.

At the beginning when we worry a lot about getting visibility and traction or when there is a heavy focus on making money, we don’t often have the patience to wait for a page to grow. There’s a feeling of or a need for instant gratification. That’s usually the thing that ends up causing problems. We sort of sabotage ourselves because our focus is in the wrong place. We don’t build with the vision in mind, we build with a short term, needs must, type of focus. That’s a pretty quick jog down the path of self-sabotage.

Do you learn a ton from that? Absolutely. Sometimes that’s how we clarify our vision. That was me! The challenge then shows up at the other end, because sometimes that clarified vision requires you to drop what you were doing and start again. Also me! And I’m sure some of you are also running into that.

I wrote this to encourage you, if you’re in this same place, to take the leap. Do the thing. Let go of the side of the pool. As hard as that seems right now, especially if you’re in a hurry to monetize and make money, I promise you’ll thank your younger self later.

It’s worth the effort and the risk to follow your dreams and see what shows up.

Love to all.

Della

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When I started my internal healing journey, my goal was to stop worrying about everything while not being afraid of simply existing anymore. To that end I was intuitively guided through a process of self-mastery, which taught me how to better manage myself in the experience.

Ultimately I learned how to stop worrying about things and not to be afraid of what was going to happen next. I learned how to trust myself to handle my life more than anything. This work completely changed my life.

I did, as part of it, become much less reactive to my surroundings because I wasn’t in a constant state of survival anymore. The adrenaline wasn’t pumping 24 hours a day, but I didn’t learn to be completely non-reactive to people.

Well, that’s the new goal that’s been unlocked.

Non-reactivity.

What does that mean?

Not reacting to your reality or the people around you is not the same as not caring about the people and the world around you. We have this idea in society that if you’re not busy getting mad at people and things all the time, it means you don’t care. But that’s not true. You don’t have to emotionally react to care or to solve problems. Non-reactivity is actually the next level after learning to manage your emotions.

Why did I decide to go down this path?

Because isolation is a thing. You see, I no longer wanted to deal with people and their problems. It was making me want to never talk to anybody again. But that’s not really really realistic. It took me a minute to realize that I could shift myself, I didn’t have to fix the outside world. What would have to change for me to be okay in a world that just offers me problems and pain all the time? My ability to stay balanced within myself, regardless of what others were offering me.

If I were a tarot card, it would be me fully embracing my inner High Priestess. People bring her things. She deals with them, but does not react. Eckhart Tolle has also mastered non-reactivity. I figure I’ll channel a bit of him too. It is the ability to maintain full internal balance regardless of what’s happening around me. That’s essentially what we’re going for.

When I first started understanding how to release worry and fear, I was terrified of the adventure. I didn’t know what I was getting into. I didn’t know what would happen. I didn’t understand that it didn’t mean not caring about anything. I just didn’t know what that was going to look like or feel like.

This time, I’m excited! I love the idea of learning how to maintain internal balance all the time. I can find internal balance, even when I’m out in the world. I walk around with a smile on my face. I’m happy and friendly and the result is that people are friendly back. I’m excited to learn how to maintain that in every situation I find myself in.

The idea of completely changing or running into pain within myself isn’t a scary prospect like it used to be. I remember being terrified to heal. It wasn’t fun. But now healing is fun because I understand the value of the reward on the other side of the work. I understand that I can handle the process. Nothing is going to come up that I can’t manage. Complete change just sounds good to me.

Yes, I’m the weirdo that enjoys healing and gets excited by the idea of doing the work on myself. Why? Because I am forever grateful for what it gave me the first time I went down the path. I can only imagine what it will bring me this time.

So, stay with me as I share my adventures in becoming less reactive and more fully balanced within myself. I’m excited about what’s going to show up and curious about how this will change things for me.

Thanks for reading!

Love to all.

Della

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So, I’m working on a project behind the scenes and the writing I just did for it this morning offered me something I didn’t expect to get today.

We all know I get the vast majority of my clarity through writing and tarot. I use writing to clarify the tarot frequently. I’m never surprised when clarity comes through this way because I expect it. I’m just sometimes surprised by the content of that clarity. Today was one of those days.

I got on the subject of boundaries, which are just a bad excuse to make a choice to change or end a given relationship. More on that another time.

Where that ended up was in our perceptions of physical distance, separation, loyalty, the natural ebb and flow of a relationship, longevity of said relationships, love, and how all of that plays out and the choices it seemingly forces us to make.

Good relationships, true relationships, true love handles all of that without blinking. Any need we have to defend ourselves in some way from that is just the ego being needy and clingy.

I have a relationship in my life right now that’s playing in this exact space that I just saw in a whole new way. I unintentionally, inadvertently, unknowingly freed myself from something I didn’t fully recognize I was caught in. Wow! Just wow!

Ego need and ego self-defense are two of the things that make relationships far more complicated than they need to be. Sometimes, no matter how self-aware we become, we miss what the ego is doing in plain site, like I was doing until now.

What do we do when that happens?

Self-forgiveness. Get okay with being a human that has a clingy, needy, defensive ego. Accept the new awareness without defending the old way of being. Honor the clarity. How does that change how you show up in the world? How does that change your actions? How does that change your thinking about the situation?

To be able to accept new clarity you have to be able to not make up a story of how painful the old way was. The old way happened so you could learn the new way. Be grateful instead of wounded.

Clarity offers you a space to find gratitude. The only reason you get wounded is because you’re mad at the clarity for not showing up on time.

What’s true here?

You wanted the clarity a long time ago because it would have changed how you managed yourself. But it wasn’t there. You didn’t have it yet. So, now you’re mad at the Universe because you don’t feel supported. If you were fully supported that wouldn’t have happened.

Oh, how I do love human perception!! hahaha

The Universe did support you by showing you how painful the old way of being was so that you could be grateful for the new clarity. The pain did support you in seeing the truth. Without the pain, you wouldn’t have been able to accept the clarity you just got. You would have defended the pain.

What are you doing right now?

Defending the pain from a different angle.

I get a lot of clarity because I’m willing to accept what I get. Do I get off-track sometimes? Sure. Does my ego get in there for a while sometimes? Yes. Am I still human? Yes.

What does that mean?

My higher self gets grumpy (lol!) until I get with the program! This is something I say all the time – it’s not a question of whether or not I’ll get there. It’s only a matter of how long it takes me to do it.

Every single piece of clarity I’ve gotten over the past several years has fallen into that exact space. If I’m really honest with you, I do a much better job of taking on clarity when I’m writing it out than I do when it comes through my cards.

This is much easier for me to accept here than it would be for me to both interpret via my cards and also take on if I did manage to interpret it.

Writing is truly my super power. It offers me awareness and clarity that I can’t usually get in other ways.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore my cards! But this is pure gold!

I wanted to share this with you because it’s important to me. It’s important to me that you see what happens when my own clarity comes through. It’s important to me that you’re able to handle clarity when you get it for yourself. It’s important to me that you give yourself grace when it doesn’t come to you the way you think it should or at the time you think it should.

It’s all in perfect divine timing – even that clarity you decided came too late. You were meant to feel the pain as a means of gaining the clarity. We don’t like that because we’d rather skip the pain part. But that’s how it goes sometimes.

Be okay with it. It’s just part of the journey of being human.

I learned a long time ago, and this is true even when it takes me a hot minute to catch up to the clarity being offered to me, that there is great value in the reward of accepting the clarity. The knowledge of the value of the reward behind the clarity is what makes this process worthwhile.

If you got this far, thanks for hanging out. I’ll be sharing more about that project I talked about later on this year.

Love to all.

Della

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I’ve been missing in action. Don’t worry, I didn’t run out of things to say. I ran out of the motivation to say it. Let me explain.

My motivation up until now has been based on external goals. Some of you may know that I was able to pay off the debt that I had and we were gifted a new to us truck. Things have calmed down significantly and that means that the external motivations I had are also, well, gone.

That left me in a bit of a void. If I’m no longer motivated by the external world, then what? That’s the question I’ve been asking for a while now. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far.

One of the things I’ve always wanted to feel about my writing was that “pull” that some people get, where they can’t stop. They forget to eat and sleep. They are so pulled to write that it’s all they do until they get whatever it is finished.

Well, I suppose since my goals were externally motivated, that wasn’t possible. I needed to learn to enjoy the process of writing, be less bothered by the outcome or getting things done, and allow more flow. External motivation doesn’t offer much in the way of flow. The external world requires us to power through things. It’s masculine energy. Flow is feminine energy that isn’t generally found in external goals.

When I no longer had the external motivation, I just kind of stopped. My intuition tried to offer me other types of external motivation, but I wasn’t interested. Nothing that’s going on around me right now is worth putting my energy into. I’m simply not interested anymore.

Finally, I started questioning where the motivation had gone to. If I wasn’t interested anymore, then where did that leave me? What was next? I was offered the idea intuitively that I needed to find the internal “pull” that I’d been asking for. Oh. Now I get it.

By the way, when you ask for things, you get them. They don’t always come in the way you expect, but they do come. This seems like an obvious path now that I see it. But it wasn’t very obvious when I started this journey.

I’ve been given the opportunity to experience what I want. I’ve been given the opportunity to connect with my writing on a much deeper level than I have so far. And what am I doing with that? Not a damn thing.

Why?

Because apparently I need to deal with the fear of it or the concerns I have about it. It’s a blind path. The thing with external motivators is that the destination is very much known. The thing with internal motivators for me at the moment, is that the destination is very much unknown. I’m not sure what’s going to come out of this. I don’t know where I’m going to end up.

Will I do it anyway?

Yes, of course I will. As I often say, it’s not a question of whether or not I’ll do it. It’s only a question of how long it takes me to get there. Yeah, sometimes I wriggle around in it for a while first. Sometimes I’m a little slow on the uptake, much to the annoyance of my intuition, but I always get there. So here I sit, writing this blog because that’s the process. That’s always been the process.

When I’m offered something intuitively through my cards, I have to write about it to clarify it. Whether I do that publicly or not, the writing part needs to happen before anything else can take place. If I procrastinate on the writing because I’m a little concerned about what’s going to show up, then I get to wriggle around in the uncomfortable feelings for a while. Let’s just say, that’s what I’ve been doing most of this week.

Is it uncomfortable or annoyed? Both actually. I’m somewhat annoyed at my external world and I’m somewhat uncomfortable with what’s coming next. Both are true.

From where I am at the moment, the external world is what it is. There is nothing within my power right now that I can do to change it. That means just accepting things as they are. Been there. Done that. I will do it again. By the way, even if there were something within my power I could do to change things, I’m so unmotivated right now, I’m not sure I’d do it anyway. So, as I often say in my posts, drop the story. Stop paying attention to it. If it’s not offering you anything new, shift your focus away from it.

As for my writing, I just need to do it already. I know that. Will there be some hiccups here? Yes, no doubt there will be. Will I figure it out? Yep because that’s just what I do.

Life has taught me how to handle all this stuff. It doesn’t always mean I want to, it just means I can. I know, from a lot of experience, that there is far greater value in the reward for doing the work than I will ever understand from where I am right now.

The unknown future will almost always make your present self uncomfortable and that’s a good thing. It means there is something new to experience. It means there is more to learn. It means the expansion is continuing. Getting okay with being uncomfortable will make this journey much easier.

It’s okay to take a pit stop. It’s okay to re-evaluate, see where you are, look around, and pat yourself on the back for how far you’ve come.

To be in a place where I get the opportunity to shift my motivation because the external world is no longer offering me much of anything, shows exactly how far I’ve come. It’s a good thing.

Give yourself some credit. You’re doing it, just like me!

Love to all.

Della

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Yes. If I could pick a word that describes the theme this year it would be balance.

Why? Because I’m seeing both the balance and the imbalance within myself and the in the world around me. I see the crazy around me. I also see where I haven’t fully balanced within myself. I’m slowly shifting the balance. I’m creating a new balance in my life that makes more sense to me.

You’ve probably noticed I haven’t been around for a while. I haven’t been posting very much. I haven’t been writing blogs. I haven’t been working on anything in the background. I literally walked away because I needed to.

I needed to find my own version of balance and with that, I also needed to accept the relationship that I have with my work. One of the things that puts me a bit off balance is that I’m rather impatient with my own progress. I feel like I’ve been doing this for a really long time and sometimes I struggle with the idea that I need to keep going. Like, just give me the secret formula so that I can do what I want. But we all know life doesn’t work that way and so, I’ve been working on my thinking to get to a place where I can be okay with the slow crawl.

The impatience came from the financial chaos that I was surrounded by. That’s no longer present. Life is much easier right now than it has been. I’m happy with that. While I was impatient with things, I wasn’t particularly motivated by it. Here’s what it comes down to – I would have walked away from what I was doing the minute financial success showed up. At least for me, that’s not part of the journey. That wasn’t one of the options. If I’m going to create financial success, it has to be through something I’m fully committed to doing even after the success is created. I want a life I don’t need to retire from, but that also means creating a life I don’t want to walk away from the first time the financial opportunity arises.

One of the things I questioned was my content. What I was offered was the idea that I could teach people how to rebel from the system. I could teach people how to let go of all the lies that have been created in our society. I could show people how to allow the system to fall apart, while still being okay within themselves. I could, in fact, build an entire content creation business solely around debunking societal norms.

Is that a good way to get attention quickly? Yes. Yes, it is. Is making a splash as a means of creating success the path I want to take? Not really, no. I don’t want people to rebel from anger and frustration with the system. I want people to accept things as they are and then make conscious choices about whether to take part in those things or not. Self-mastery allows us to make conscious choices and not just do things from anger and frustration. It opens up a different path to be able to respond to what we see around us without the emotional trigger.

Teaching self-mastery matters. Debunking some societal norms along the way is fine, too. Doing one or the other exclusively may not be the best option. There’s that balance I’ve been talking about. To be honest, I’m not particularly comfortable being a walking lightening rod. Offering a path to healing is important to me and not something I want to give up entirely.

Creating balance means finding motivation that is internal and not external. It means doing things because I want to, not because I have to. It means understanding where I want to go and what I want that to look like. It means being patient with the process and committing to it fully. It means not pushing, not stressing and not worrying, all while fully enjoying the creative process I’ve committed to.

Now for the million dollar question. Do I know what’s next?

Sort of. hahaha I have a vision of a free course/info site with all things self-mastery and maybe a bit of rebelling in there too. I’m also considering some paid download options for it like extended audio recordings or PDF files. The base will be free and not behind any sort of a wall or free sign up requirement.

What about a book? I’m focusing on this site for this year because I see it as a foundation to build from. That doesn’t mean I won’t turn the site into a downloadable e-book when it’s done. It just means there won’t be a separate book this year. I actually really liked creating an info site out of my last book, The Art of Self-Mastery, so we’re going to do that again with a bit of a twist.

So, to finish this off. No, I’m not dead. Yes, I will be re-booting my content creation work. It will be with a twist and more internally motivated and driven. Yes, I have some sort of a plan. No, I didn’t give up. Yes, I do what I teach for myself. I always have. I’m right there with you, every single day.

Love to all.

Della

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Actually I just completely evaporated for a while. Life started happening, things have been changing, and I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus since.

What changed?

Well, I was able to get my debt paid off. The phone stopped ringing. The collection agencies are gone. I’m free!!

I’ve also been doing about 6 years worth of income tax. I gave up on it for a long time because I thought it was hopeless. I just saw it as a trap that I was going to get caught in, so I walked away. But now I’m working through them. I’ll have them done shortly.

I bought some things for the house, only bought one tarot deck (not 12), bought some new clothes, new slippers, plus a few other things I needed.

Life has been busy but good.

It’s allowed me to re-focus myself, pay for the platforms I use for the next year, doing away with some of those so-called micro-payments. Little things like that make a difference.

But now I’m struggling with my content – or more accurately – I’m struggling with what I talk about, not how I talk about it, or the way in which I share it. I’m not bothered by blogs or books. I’m even thinking about creating a static info site of sorts with all kinds of things on it.

I always have a lot to say. Finding things to talk about really isn’t much of an issue, but I’m being pulled in a very specific direction that I’m not so sure about.

What is that direction?

Non-conformance. Bucking the system. Managing ourselves within the experience in such a way that we can step out of the system, back off from it, and completely do our own thing. Punching holes in the stories we tell about the system and how it works. Poking holes in the idea that we need to fight or struggle or defend ourselves. Allowing the natural laws of balance to balance themselves. We spend a lot of time messing with the balance creating more problems than we solve. Plus many other ideas that I’ve come across over the last few years.

These kinds of concepts make people mad. They defend the fight quite strongly. I still have this thing where I don’t like to be a sh!t disturber. I enjoy my peace. Creating content like that won’t offer me very much peace.

I get that I don’t have to stay in those relationships. I get that I can walk away. I get that I don’t have to argue. I understand how this works. I can manage myself within the experience. I just want an experience that doesn’t make me manage myself constantly. Does that make sense?

I don’t want to deal with the aggression that comes from challenging the idea that we have to fight with everything. I still like posting things that people agree with and don’t argue with. I like things to be easy. Writing is easy. Writing things that people argue with is easy. Dealing with the arguments after I share what I wrote isn’t easy. I don’t want to deal with the arguments. But then I’m also a healer and that’s actually my job. Showing people the pain is part of the job. If everything I post is easy for other people to handle, then I’m not really doing what I’m here to do.

In all honesty, it all ties back into self-mastery. It’s part of being able to manage yourself within the experience. One of the ways we can do that is by understanding where we’re trapping ourselves through our perception of the world around us. The world around us just happens to include a bunch of messed up systems and ways of being that don’t work. Seeing those clearly is part of how we can free ourselves to be okay. Seeing those clearly allows us to manage ourselves better. When the system offers pain, the idea is to free ourselves from that pain, but to do that we have to understand how our perception affects the pain we feel. If we can heal our perception then we don’t need to try to fix anything outside of ourselves. We can just walk away from the whole thing.

It’s easier just to offer you inspirational quotes all day, but I’d get bored. I won’t do that for an extended period of time. I get bored too easy. I get annoyed quickly by things that feel repetitive. I need the variety of being able to write about different things. Would arguing with people keep me from getting bored? Maybe. But that’s not peaceful is it? Oh, the conundrums I create for myself.

The other piece of this is that the reason I write has changed. I’ve done the work on myself. That’s not to say that I’m completely healed or anything like that. It’s just to say that I don’t need to write for me like I used to. Writing for myself used to offer a steady flow of content. It doesn’t anymore. I’m lucky if I need to write a blog a month for myself these days. Everything I write is now for others. It’s offering me an opportunity to be more creative. It opens up the relationship with my writing considerably. That’s also a bit scary because I never know what’s going to come out until I type it.

My intuition wants me to go with the flow. It’s not until I sit down to type that I get the inspiration. They want me to wing it instead of having a plan. Did I mention that’s complicated for me? I like plans.

I mentioned that I wanted to create a static info site of sorts which would be part course, part essays, and part blog. Maybe even part podcast. It would be a lot of different things. But I’m not allowed to have a plan anymore. I have to wing it. The inspiration will come later. I don’t do so well with that. I still like to have a system in place. I still like a plan. I still want the guidance before I go down the path. I’m being pushed out of the proverbial nest and being asked to go with the flow more.

The shift is real.

Its a bit on the scary side. I don’t really like what I’m being asked to do.

Guess what?

I need to get over myself and figure it out.

Everything I just wrote is a story that I’m telling myself. Everything.

That means that I need to drop the story so that I can move on. That means I need to drop the fear. I need to feel the fear and do it anyway. I need to be okay with winging it. I need to trust the plan will show up. I need to trust the details will appear when I need them. I just need to go with it.

For the moment, I’m not going with it. I’m stopped. That’s all fear and the story of my perception of things at the moment.

Can I get past it?

Of course I can and I will.

It’s never a question of whether or not I’ll get there. It’s only a question of how long it takes me to do it.

How do I know that? Because even when I argue with the relationship, I don’t let go of the relationship. I just figure out how to get okay with it. I just figure out how to manage myself in the experience of that relationship. I accept the relationship with my writing. I accept that I’m a writer. I also accept that I’m a healer. I’m just figuring out how to do both while honoring my intuition so that I can fulfill the reason why I’m here on this planet.

Yes, I feel that this is my path. It is part of my purpose in this human form. I’m willing to go on that journey. I just have to get out of my own way first. That’s what I’m attempting to do by writing this blog. I’m doing what I know. If I want to heal it, then I have to write about it. I could keep it to myself, but what’s the fun in that?

It’s not just about questioning everything, it’s also about sharing everything. So I’m sharing my struggles with you so you can see how this works and how I manage it for myself. I recognize the stories that I tell. I also have the pleasure of figuring out how to drop them or heal them because that’s my job. That’s what I talk about. That’s what I offer you. It’s what I do for myself every single day.

I live this way and I encourage you to do the same. You can free yourself. It will be okay. You will be fine. You do just have to trust yourself and nothing outside of you. When you can trust yourself, feel the fear and do it anyway. life changes dramatically. It has for me and it will for you too.

Love to all.

Della

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Accepting the past and co-existing with our memories are different things. Co-existing with our memories is just learning to get okay with the memory so that when our memories upset us we don’t end up down a rabbit hole of emotion we have trouble getting out of.

Accepting the past takes that process one step further. Now we have to get okay with the whole thing, not just the memories but also the people involved and the experiences we’ve had. We have to learn to co-exist with our own previous life experience.

Sometimes when we talk about accepting the past it turns into inner child work, but the truth is that the past is not limited to everything that happened before you were 13. Accepting the past includes your teenage years, your young adult years, maybe your thirties, forties, and fifties as well. Accepting the past includes accepting what happened yesterday and 5 minutes ago. Accepting the past includes everything right up until the very present moment of our experience. That means it’s not just inner child work, it’s inner adult work and inner teenager work too.

So, how do we get okay with those things back there in the recesses of our minds?

First, let’s point out the obvious. Accepting what happened back there is not about condoning what happened. We’re not giving permission for the experience to happen again. We’re not making it okay in that sense. It’s not even about forgiveness.

What accepting the past means to me is very simply ending the argument with our past by dropping our idea of how it should have been instead. The minute we decide something shouldn’t have happened, we have a problem because it creates an argument we can’t win.

We can’t change the past. When we decide that it should have been different than it was, to get out of the argument we have to change the past. Well, that’s impossible. Now what? The past isn’t going to change, so that means we have to change our argument because that’s the thing we can do something about.

There’s a meme that often floats around on social media that says something to the effect of, “Our biggest problem in life is our idea of how it should be.”

When we look back at our childhoods specifically, we have a Brady Bunch idealistic vision of how it should be. We want our parents to be Ward and June Cleaver. We want healthy relationships with our parents or caregivers. We want the perfect childhood and most of us just simply don’t have that. We all have varying degrees of dysfunction and chaos.

It’s time to just make that okay.

The dysfunction and chaos exist because our parents and caregivers were carrying pain around. They hadn’t healed their own wounds and they kindly shared that with us. The more abusive or awful your childhood was, the more pain your parents carried around. They probably spent much of their time doing everything they could to avoid feeling that pain. For some of you, that meant they took the pain out on you in various ways.

These are what I call the extremes of the human experience. Abuse and addiction are outside of what is considered “typical”, even though many children experience one or more of these things daily. While I generally don’t directly talk about or deal with the extremes of the human experience because they aren’t my experience, it doesn’t mean that what I’m offering doesn’t apply. What I often say is that it’s not that it can’t be done in more extreme circumstances, it’s just harder. The difficulty level increases, however the concepts and processes are the same.

No matter what your childhood and teenage years looked like, you can accept the past and the memories that came with it. The biggest hurdle that we have to get over to do this, is the idea of how it was supposed to be instead.

“Children don’t deserve that. I didn’t deserve that.”

Experience is not about what is deserved. It is about what happens. Human experience is not a punishment. No matter how tragic or awful our childhood experience may be, we are not being punished for anything. We are simply having experiences that we don’t like. The problem gets created when we use our judgment of those experiences to decide that they shouldn’t exist and then make ourselves a victim of our own judgment by arguing about what should have been instead.

Past experience exists only in your imagination. It doesn’t exist out there in the world because it’s not happening right now. The only experience that is not in your imagination is whatever you’re doing in this exact second. The last word you read is in your imagination right now unless you go back and read it again, and then once you’ve re-read the word, it goes right back into your imagination. Every single second that passes ends up in your imagination immediately. You can’t ever re-live those seconds. To accept the past means accepting every second as it was.

To be honest, we do this most of the time. We can accept the last 5 seconds of our lives because we were reading this or sitting on the couch or we were at work. We have no problem accepting most of our mundane experience and therefore we have no need to hold onto it, so we simply forget it. If we’re really honest about it, we’ll admit to actually forgetting the vast majority of our experience because it was that boring and mundane. It wasn’t worth remembering which made it very simple to accept. The experiences we struggle to accept are the ones we can’t forget and more specifically the ones we judge as painful.

Is the problem in the experience? No. The problem is in our judgment of it and our feelings around it because those are the things that ultimately determine what we do with the experience within ourselves. To forget the experience it has to be quite limited in nature. It has to be quite finite in some ways.

Do you have vague past posts on social media that make no sense now and you have no idea why you were upset at the time? You accepted the experience and then forgot it happened. Why were you able to let that experience go? It was obviously emotionally charged. So, what’s the difference between that and the things you’ve held onto?

My theory is that it’s about scope. It’s about whether we think the experience will or should have long lasting effects on us. When we judge an experience as something that has a big impact on us, we hold onto it. When we judge an experience as something very narrow in focus that isn’t going to matter down the road, we can forget about it.

Is our ability to accept past experience determined largely by our perception of the impact that the experience had on us? Yes, it seems quite likely that this is the case. If that is the case, then what’s the process for managing that with experiences that have already happened and are still impacting us currently?

Awareness is our solution to the problem. Become aware of how the experience impacted you in ways you perceive to be negative – heal those. Figure out how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors were affected by that experience and heal all of that. Once we’ve healed the vast majority of the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors we’ve held onto in relation to a given experience, we can let go of and accept the experience more easily.

Are we going to forget it? Probably not. That experience is all but ingrained our minds. But what we can do is get to acceptance so that we can end the fight with our memories and our experience in our minds.

Accepting the past has a lot to do with our judgment of it and our perception of what releasing our judgment of it does for us or to us.

We want to hold onto our judgment of an experience because our judgment is what we think protects us. We use our judgment as a boundary to protect ourselves with. While it’s okay to make choices about our experience, using judgment as a means of protection causes pain. The minute we judge something as bad or wrong, we try to get rid of it or repel it from us.

What does that look like? The Universe is offering you an experience, but you’re not sure how it’s going to turn out. You think it might be painful. Your judgment of it as painful makes you want to avoid the experience. That is judgment as protection. If you simply made the choice to go on the path of the experience and left the judgment behind, you would see there was something to be gained from the experience – there was a reason for the experience.

All experience – whether past, present, or future – has a purpose. Nothing happens for no reason. Even when we can’t see a reason for something, there is purpose in the experience. There is purpose in those memories you have that you argue with and refuse accept. Ironically, the more we refuse to accept those memories the more painful they become.

Acceptance is step one in a lifetime of healing. We have to get okay with those memories, then we have to get okay with the experiences themselves. After that we can begin to figure out how those things affected us. All of that leads us to a place where we can be fully okay within ourselves.

Acceptance offers internal peace with the past, the present, and the unknown future. That internal peace is what most people are after, whether they realize it or not.

Love to all.

Della

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Acceptance is our ability to co-exist with our memories, whether the memory happened 5 minutes ago, 5o years ago, or anywhere in between. Being able to co-exist with our memories offers peace in the present and allows us to heal from the past.

How do we do that?

First, let’s get our thinking right. Accepting past experience does not mean that we’re allowing that experience to repeat again. It doesn’t mean we’re okay with what happened. It doesn’t mean we forgive anybody for anything. It doesn’t mean anything in the outside world at all. It’s not about the outside world. Acceptance of memories is strictly about allowing ourselves to be okay in the present.

What we’re really doing is dropping the argument with what we think the past should have looked like versus what actually happened and the story we’ve been telling about it along the way.

Memories are just pictures and short movies in our minds. They are part of our imagination. The thing isn’t happening now and so the mind is just pulling up a movie or an image in our heads to show us. More often than not, that movie or image is triggered by something that’s happening in the present that directly or indirectly has something to do with the memory.

If the memory makes you sad, that’s the same as watching a sad movie. It’s got nothing to do with the present. We’re just reacting to what our mind offered us. It’s no big deal. There is no healing to do there because we’re not going for desensitization. The object is not to become numb to the memory. The object is to recognize that the memory has been brought up and that the feeling is connected to the memory, not the present experience. The trick is not to get distracted by that. Just let it be what it is.

I have plenty of memories that, if I bring them up and start thinking about them or replaying them in my head, will upset me. Does that mean there is something wrong? No. It’s a movie or an image and it’s sad and that’s okay. I can allow that to be there without feeling the need to change it.

Does that mean on Valentine’s Day every year I bring up those memories like clockwork and spend the day crying my eyes out? No because that’s not helpful either. Allowing memories to wreck present experience doesn’t usually serve a purpose.

Now, let’s qualify that a little bit. Let’s say somebody transitioned out of their human form and you’re working through grief. That first year without them in their physical form, may present a challenge on certain holidays. The memory is going to be triggered because suddenly the experience of those holidays is different than it used to be. You’ll recognize that difference and it will create a sense of sadness. That’s normal and human. It’s okay. If you’re still doing that 20 years later, start managing that. It’s not something that needs to be cyclical and happening year to year. It’s something that should slow down and stop over time. At some point all it does is upset the present experience. You know what to expect because the experience is no longer new, so there is no reason to allow the mind and the memory to upset you every year. You can and should manage that. The reality is you’re not grieving 20 years later anyway. You’re just reacting to memories. For as long as you allow that to happen, it will continue. The mind will happily give you that experience every time you ask for it, consciously or unconsciously.

Part of co-existing with our memories is understanding when the transition from reacting to the experience itself to reacting to the memory actually happens. It’s different for everybody based on the experience. Grief is a far more lengthy process, for example, than somebody cutting you off in traffic or a long line at the grocery store that annoyed you. Recognizing those differences allows you to begin to understand when to cut off the mind.

The mind will keep you in pain for as long as you allow it to. So if you claim you’re still grieving 20 years later, guess what? The mind will continue to give you the experience of grief because you’ve identified as somebody that is in a perpetual state of grief. It becomes an identity that you take on. If you consciously cut it off after 2, 3, or 5 years then you don’t have to stay in that cycle. You don’t have to wear the identity. You don’t have to be in a perpetual state of grief if you don’t want to be.

The same with the long line at the grocery store. How long do you want to be annoyed? Is 5 minutes enough? How about an hour? How about all day or all week? How long you stay annoyed is up to you, not the experience. Your job is to consciously decide what you’re going to allow your brain to do with the experience. You have that power if you want to use it. For as much as the mind is there to protect you, it will keep you annoyed for as long as it can because is how the mind chooses to protect you – it uses pain as the shield to keep you safe.

What does that have to do with our memories?

Well, if the mind uses pain as a shield, then it will use painful memories to make you feel pain as a means of protecting you. If you don’t have any pain in your present experience but you have plenty of pain in the past, the mind will use that instead without hesitation.

Again, the mind isn’t trying to hurt you. The mind isn’t out to get you. This is a legitimate strategy the mind has for protecting you from unknown future pain. The only two types of experience the mind has to draw on are the present and the past. It is happy to use whichever one will accomplish the task of keeping you safe from the future.

Co-existing with our memories requires us to get okay with the idea that the mind uses our memories as a means of generating pain in order to protect us. We also have to understand that the memories are just movies or images generated by our imaginations that we are reacting to. Memories on their own are not hints at old wounds that need to be healed.

How will we know there is a wound to heal?

Present experience will show us what the wound is and whether or not it’s connected to a memory. If the present experience is also triggering a memory, separate the memory and any associated feelings from the present experience, at least temporarily. That gives us the ability to deal with the present experience without the distraction of the memory. Feel what you feel as it relates to the present experience and leave the memory alone for a bit. This helps to keep the story of the mind at bay.

The problem with the memory is that it’s going to offer you a story that isn’t true. If you apply the story that came with the memory to your present experience it will cause you a bit of trouble. The work is to try to see your present experience clearly without the past story clouding your clarity. The more you can mentally create some separation the easier that work is going to be.

What is your past experience or your memory showing you?

It’s probably showing you a behavior – how you reacted to what happened.

It’s probably also showing you some pain of some kind – how the experience made you feel.

It’s probably offering you a prediction for the future based on the old outcome. You don’t have to repeat the past so this isn’t true either.

It’s also telling you a story of blame, shame, guilt, or victimization that is not true. Whatever the story is that you’re telling is offering you a perception of your present experience that is cloudy at best.

The more you can see these things, the easier they are to manage. Can you pull back from your own perspective and see what you’re creating for yourself in your own mind?

Clarity comes from being able to pull back, zoom out, and see things from outside of yourself. Pretend there is a bird flying above your head and give yourself that perspective. The bird is not you, so it’s separate from you and its location is not only outside of you but above you, meaning the bird has a better viewpoint than you do. I used to call this the helicopter view – get up and out of it so you can see it more clearly.

Don’t get me wrong, learning to pull back like this is a skill. It takes practice. The more you do it the better you’ll get at it, the easier it will be. Eventually it comes naturally. I do it automatically now. I’ve taught myself to do it all the time because I understand the benefit of it when I’m interpreting my own experience. It offers me clarity I can’t get when I have my face smooshed up against the glass trying to figure out what’s happening.

Pulling back doesn’t mean letting go. It means giving yourself breathing room to figure out what needs to happen next. It offers the space for conscious clarity which doesn’t come when you’re pushing for more information.

To get back to those memories, when they show up it’s our job to recognize that the memory clouds the glass. The memory doesn’t allow us to see clearly. Even if we have our faces smooshed up against the glass trying to see, the memory makes that even more difficult than it already was.

What it comes down to is self-awareness. What’s your mind offering you? If it’s coming in the form of a memory, then our job is to understand why the memory is being triggered. If it’s somebody’s birthday, for example, and they’ve transitioned but there is nothing happening in your experience, then it is literally just you reacting to your own memory. Knowing that allows you to contain the story so that you don’t have to let it wreck your entire day, week, or month. If the memory is being triggered by something actively happening in your experience, then your job is to figure out how to deal with the present experience differently. If the memory didn’t work out and the experience is similar, then what can you do differently now to potentially change the outcome?

Self-awareness is no joke. It takes a lot of practice. The more you understand the mechanics of the mind in this way, the easier this gets. You don’t have to struggle with it if you understand how to manage it within yourself.

Memories are as much about allowing past experiences to just be what they were as they are about not allowing old memories to wreck our current experience. Our memories aren’t in control – we are. We have to remember that. We are allowed to get the mind under control. We’re not harming ourselves by doing that. We’re actually helping ourselves. It’s not all or nothing. There is balance to be found and not just balance, but conscious balance – the ability to use our awareness of ourselves in such a way that we can manage our thoughts and feelings in a healthy way that doesn’t require us to squish anything or block anything.

Feel your feelings and take your brain with you.

Be at peace with your memories by understanding what they are, why they are there, and how they can help or hurt you depending on what you do with them.

We all have memories – good, bad, and just plain ugly – all of us have to co-exist with those memories. We can learn how to not be hurt by them constantly.

It’s a process of awareness that everybody has the ability to create for themselves. You just have to be willing to start.

Love to all.

Della

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